Memo to Sir Elton John: Shut Your Fat Gob, You Wanker

If the title seems a bit odd considering I'm not a British Subject (although I am an anglophile), allow me to explain. I wanted to make sure that if Sir Elton were to see this, he would understand. Given his recent comments in The Sun, I have serious doubts if Sir Elton would understand that he's a tired old fart. Captain and Tenille are more relevant than him.

Normally I wouldn't care two squirts of piss off a squirrel's ass what he had to say, but I was reading a story on P2Pnet about some jackass named Reginald bitching about the internet on The Sun, and how it's stifling creativity in his esteemed opinion. That jackass is self-described luddite, Sir Elton John. He even went so far as to suggest shutting down the Internet for 5 years to see what kind of art would result. If by "art" he means "mongolian clusterfuck of biblical proportions," I'm sure it would be the kind of art that would make Hieronymus Bosch giggle.

If you're scratching your heads and wondering how far Sir Elton's head is buried up his distended ringpiece, then think about this - his 60th Birthday Gala Concert was streamed over the internet. I'd certainly appreciate it if someone could explain to Sir Elton what a "hypocrite" is, but make sure not to use big words. As reported in The Sun article, sales for his latest album "The Captain & The Kid" are just creeping past 100,000 copies. Gee, I wonder if the olad fart is bitter about something.