Thursday, April 16, 2009

May The Force Be Wit Ye (But Nae Wit The Sassenach)

Now you may be wondering if the title is a puerile attempt at humor, and you'd bloody well be right. I've no love for George Lucas, or more precisely, I've no love for what the fat fuck continues to do to his movies. I love "Star Wars," but goddamnit, Han shot first.

There. I've said it. I promise I won't go too much more into why I'd be happier than a pig in shit if George Lucas were to choke on a Krispy Kreme.

Still it never fails to amaze me to consider the depth and range of the impact of "Star Wars." Like this little nugget. Stunning, isn't it? If this religious movement ever gains momentum, I'd sure as Hell love to put a Jedi Master in the octagon with Pope Benedict XVI.

And on that happy note, I leave you with this other nugget I found online:

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Woody, Lay Off the Pipe, Dude

Lord help me I love zombies. It's incredibly difficult to make a shitty zombie movie, but then again George Romero has made practically nothing BUT shitty zombie movies.

Yeah, I said it, and I'll take any motherfucker who takes exception to the octagon.

I'm enjoying the fact that Hollywood seems to be making more zombie movies. I read that there's going to be a movie based on the book Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I shit thee not. Reading this recent story on, I thought less of the movie "Zombieland," and more of Woody's recreational drug use.

I doubt any victim of paparazzi would have second thoughts of bitch slapping them, but Woody's excuse for his behavior leads me to believe that he needs to lay off the pipe. Seriously dude, you're not doing a blessed fucking thing for either hemp as a viable alternative to conventional resources or to the "Zombieland" production. Are you fucking kidding me? He was soooo good a method actor that he was "in character" while he was with his daughter in an airport? What the buggery Hell made him think that paparazzi were zombies and NOT flight attendants?

Woody needs an intervention or he needs to go on a pot bender so deep that his eyelids will reek of bongwater. It's getting incredibly hard to accept him as a serious actor without the benefit of Funyuns and White Castle.

Friday, April 10, 2009

PeTA Protests The Pet Shop Boys, Captain Beefheart is Nervous

Now I love the good work that the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals does. I don't agree with all of their work or some of their tactics, but you have to expect to have differences with any organization. The bottom line is that for the better part, they do great work, and co-founder Ingrid Newkirk's book Making Kind Choices (ISBN 0-312-32993-8) is as broad and inspirational as it is applicable to virtually every facet of life. That book is noteworthy also for its non-judgmental tone. Never once did I get the sense that unless I go "cold turkey" off all animal products, I am as heinous an individual as Michael Vick. Every little step counts, and it's not as hard to go vegan as some might think.

But like I said, I've had problems and differences of opinion with PeTA. I'll go into some of them later, but for now, I have to seriously question what the HELL they're thinking when they protest Neil Tennant & Chris Lowe, aka "The Pet Shop Boys." For those of you who are too friggin' young to remember, The Pet Shop Boys are a 20 years old pop music group with some incredibly catchy yet vapid hit songs. They had hits like "West End Girls," and "What Have I Done to Deserve This?"(with Dusty Springfield) as well as covers of classics like "Always on My Mind."

According to the article, PeTA wanted to draw attention to inhumane conditions breeders keep their animals in before they sell them to pet stores. The assumption that can easily be made from this article is twofold: 1) All pet stores get their animals from disreputable breeders, and 2) The pet stores themselves don't take good care of their animals. This is a gross disservice to good pet stores and pet supply stores.

On top of that, what the buggery fuck was PeTA thinking of protesting a 20 YEAR OLD pop music group? Where the Hell was PeTA in 1984 when The Pet Shop Boys released their first album? Were pet breeders that much better back then and were the conditions in pet stores that much better than now, or is this more than slightly fucked up that an animal rights organization would bitch at a music group that's about as relevant as Betamax, New Coke, and HD-DVD? If the last Pet Shop Boys track you remember hearing was their debut hit "West End Girls," AND NOTHING ELSE SINCE, then their relevance is right up there with Laura Brannigan. They could have bitched at a nutty bastard like Captain Beefheart about his name, or they could have bitched at Francis Ford Coppola for actually killing a fucking cow during the filming of "Apocalypse Now," but I can't seem to find anything archived on any news site about Coppola's Viet Nam War epic.

PeTA needs to stop devoting energy to pointless, laughable protests and focus more on winning the hearts and minds of those who can actually change, or else they'll continue to freely give ammunition to those who yearn for the opportunity to deride the good work PeTA does.