Don't Mess with a Classic

Before I go into the nasueating details, I have to warn you that this made me angrier than I've been in ages.

Those of you that know me personally know that this is not a good thing in the least. Lord, I've tried not to react at the provocation of assholes, but sometimes there is no other course of action but to go apeshit. This is one of those times.

ComingSoon is one of the best news sites out there for TV, Film, and DVD info. While some sites like AintItCoolNews are full of freshly churned horseshit and have to issue retractions or rampant disclaimers, ComingSoon is consistently solid. Which pisses me off about this nugget of shit.

Yes, you read right. Apparently Warner Bros. through their Warner Independent Pictures division is looking to remake the martial arts classic film "Enter the Dragon" into "Awaken the Dragon." I don't give a dry fuck who is trying to do it or what their motivation is. To fuck with a classic film and assume that you can get away with anything more than a disturbingly poor reflection of the source is unforgivable. Kurt Sutter may be an incredible TV series producer having worked on "The Shield,," but does this mean that he is qualified to remake Bruce Lee's magnum opus?

HELL FUCKING NO.

To be fair, Director Robert Clouse had a lot to do with the success of "Enter The Dragon" as any director would be partially responsible for the final product, but "Enter The Dragon" was all Bruce Lee. There will NEVER be another martial artist like Bruce Lee, and to even think of remaking one of his films will earn you a savage beating. To be fair, the only remake of a Bruce Lee film that DIDN'T suck was "Fist of Legend," a remake of "Fist of Fury" (known in the US as "The Chinese Connection"). Part of that was because of Jet Li's phenomenal skill as a martial artist, and part of it was the adherence to historical authenticity (both were based on actual events).

I'd like to believe that there are martial artists who can aspire to be as brilliant and innovative as Bruce Lee. I'd like to believe that there can be as important and inspirational a film as "Enter the Dragon," but Kurt Sutter and those parties responsible for trying to pull this off should be savagely beaten and used as bukakke targets. If they recover, simply suggest to them that if they want to make a movie, try making something for which they will be remembered as original artists and not a bunch of brain-dead ass clowns trying to rape the corpse of a genius for a meal ticket.