Sunday, April 25, 2010

My Sentiments Exactly, Dude

This was taken from the infamous "Episode III: Backstroke of the West," or "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" translated into Chinese by a bunch of crackheads. English subtitles were done by more crackheads, and some enterprising jackass took out the Chinese language track, and added back in the original English language track. Oh yeah - the also added bogus timecode bars up top to make it look like an official workprint.


Saturday, April 24, 2010

Patrick Pogan Is a Moron and Deserves Hard Time

According to this New York Times article, FORMER NYPD rookie cop Patrick Pogan, Jr. testified a line of bullshit about why he cross-checked bicyclist Christopher Long during a Critical Mass roving bicycle advocacy rally on July 25th, 2008. The facts of this case aren't as subject to interpretation as Patrick Pogan Jr's defense would like because THE FACTS were recorded and posted to YouTube.

Allow me to clarify a couple of points here and add some facts that John Eligon, the author of the New York Times article, was either unaware of or decided not to include. The Pogan family has been a part of the NYPD for two generations before Patrick Jr. took a steaming dump on his family name. In fact, his father was not only a highly decorated NYPD cop, but he served on the Joint Terrorism Task Force. Patrick Sr. was recognized by federal law enforcement agencies for his work after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. You'd think that with that sort of legacy, Patrick Jr. would have known what to do. Christ, at the time he fucked up, Patrick Jr. was living with his father.

Patrick Jr. was only on his 11th day on the job (having graduated from the New York Police Academy on or about July 14th, 2008) when he bum rushed Christopher Long. Patrick Jr. was assigned to the Midtown South precinct, an area of New York City that is generally light in bona fide criminal threats. It is generally considered to be a cake walk. Patrick Jr's defense claimed that Mr. Long was on a direct collision course for him and that he was being abusive, screaming, and flipping both middle fingers to the him. Determining the exact extent of his claims isn't going to be too tough because there's video evidence. On top of that, Patrick Jr's partner (or at the least another cop) was standing further into traffic than Junior was, and he didn't flip out and fuck up a cyclist. Gee - maybe he wasn't a FUCKING MORON, Patty boy.

Mr. Eligon paints a rather distorted picture of both Patrick Pogan, Jr. and Christopher Long by presenting completely irrelevant facts about both parties. Yes, Christopher Long struck and killed an elderly pedestrian with his car in North Carolina. Was he driving a car when Patrick jr. beat him out of traffic in 2008? Nope. Was he even riding his bike recklessly? NOPE. Christopher Long also was discharged from the US Army for testing positive for marijuana. Was he stoned when Patty boy smacked him off his bike in 2008? NOPE. But hey, Patty boy was an emergency medical technician who saved the life of a 56 year old man from cardiac arrest. Guess what, Patty boy? THAT WAS YOUR FUCKING JOB. What the fuck - do you want a cookie and a pat on the back for doing your job as an EMT? Should I buy you a drink? Considering what a dumbass he was and how quickly he fucked up his career with the NYPD, I'm surprised he knows which end of a syringe to put in someone.

Mr. Eligon also stated that Patrick Jr. also was an altar boy. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. Wow. So there was a good chance that he could have been molested. I guess we should give him a cookie for that, right Mr. Eligon? In fact, at NO POINT WHATSOFUCKINGEVER does Mr. Eligon make any mention of the fact that Patrick Pogan Sr. is a legitimate New York Police Hero. How the fuck isn't this relevant? Maybe because people might wonder how could a hero cop have such a dumb fucking kid? He didn't mention that at the time, Christopher Long was a green grocer in New York City's Union Square and had long been regarded as quiet and mild mannered. Yeah, that's not relevant either. Mr. Eligon.

If convicted, Patrick Pogan, Jr. faces up to 4 years in prison. You might think there's no way a former NYPD cop is gonna do that length of time, but then again you might think there's no way even a rookie cop could be that fucking dumb. I hope he not only does time but gets ass raped, shanked, and ass raped some more . Fuck you Patrick Pogan, jr. And Patrick Sr? Fuck you twice for not pulling out and glazing your wife's face instead of giving birth to a disgrace of a cop.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Hell Can't Be Painful Enough for Daryl Gates

Back in the mid-90s during my time as a book editor, I was invited to attend a software rollout event at a midtown Manhattan hotel. The software line was Sierra Online, and they were responsible for titles like "Leisure Suit Larry," "King's Quest," and "Gabriel Knight," (I'm old enough to remember Sierra Online from their seminal titles for the Apple II Plus). They had released a series of police thriller games called "Police Quest." In 1995, the first four games were re-released with the dubious cache of a celebrity cop endorsement.

Daryl Gates.

As in "Los Angeles Police Chief Daryl Gates" who guarded the City of Angels literally with an iron grip during the Rodney King riots.

I have no fucking idea why Sierra Online thought it would be a good idea to have one of the biggest, dirtiest, least ethical cops to be the spokeswhore for a computer game. That's like having a fucking Nazi in the Vatican.

Oh wait.

At that software show, I watched a monitor showing off gameplay from a "Police Quest" game, and I felt grossly uneasy. The only way I could describe it was I sincerely felt a disturbance in the Force, and it was standing right behind me. It was Daryl Gates. He explained to me the "pioneering" work he had done with SWAT teams. He thought a double tap wasn't good enough, and he proceeded to poke me in both shoulders and the forehead to demonstrate a "triple tap" to effectively and permanently drop a target with three bullets.

I felt nauseated that he touched me and I was debating bludgeoning him in a room full of witnesses before I pitched him out the window, down a couple floors and into Midtown Manhattan traffic.

But today I read on that Daryl Gates died from bladder cancer. I hope it was fucking painful, and it's appropriate that one of the biggest pricks in law enforcement died from problems with his pecker.

Burn in Hell, Daryl Gates. You have left an indelible stain on any cop around the world. Burn in Hell motherfucker.