Sunday, May 31, 2009

Becoming Self-Aware

In deference to protect the delicate sensibilities of some, I am changing the identities of certain people in this essay.

I was walking with a buddy yesterday, and we were talking how one of my friend's co-workers (hereafter to be referred to as "Penn")is painfully Caucasian to the point of being targeted with every "white boy" joke in the book. Penn looks kind of like Andrew Daly of MADtv, and that doesn't exactly help him out to further any arguments that he is anything but an ofay honky. My friend has a pretentious cunt of a boss (hereafter to be referred to as "REMF") who is also painfully Caucasian and aside from being a less intelligent than a corn-studded loaf of shit, REMF deserves every "white boy joke in the book. REMF truly is a "cracka-ass-cracka."

The difference between Penn and REMF is that as far as I can tell, Penn became self-aware whereas REMF wouldn't know an original though if it teabagged him. I share some degree of sympathy with Penn aside from the fact that he has a good and twisted sense of humor and as far as I've interacted with him, he's been fun to chat with. While I may appear to be just an average Korean, I am not the motherfucker who does your dry cleaning, who sells you your groceries, or who delivers your takeout orders.

I like country music. Not country pop bullshit, but Hank Williams sr, Johnny Cash, Randy Travis, and Dwight Yoakam. I love to cook and bake Italian food. I have TWO liberal arts degrees. I love tequila. I could go on to describe any number of other things I enjoy that aren't stereotypically viewed as "Asian" or "Korean," but that's less important as the fact that at some early point in my life, I took a look at not only what Koreans were like, but how the people around me (i.e. white people) saw me. I didn't want to be their Charlie Chan or even their Jackie Chan.

It's important to keep an open mind about what the world has to offer. There's a lot of fun to be had, and as a warning, if you don't keep an open mind, you're by default setting yourself up to be marginalized by people like REMF and other morons. I'm assuming Penn had that same sort of self-realization and tried to cultivate his own little world of stuff that brings him joy & fulfillment or at least offers him respite from the bullshit that can piss you off.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body

As things were winding down to AIDS Walk New York this Sunday, I wanted to make sure I was up to snuff physically. I'm a fanatical inline skater, and Ive skated AIDS Walk New York 8 out of the 9 times I've done it. Here's the link to my donation page in case you can donate. Every now and then Mother Nature looks like she's gonna give New York the finger with rain, but she's been pretty good so far.

I just checked the weather report, and it still looks like rain. What are ya gonna do, eh? So I have to walk. That sucks. It sucks even more because one of the reasons I skate AIDS Walk New York is to blaze through the 10K route in order to help at the last checkpoint where all the refreshments are. There are at least 5 freight trucks there loaded with food, snacks, water, & supplies. That's a lot of stuff, but then again, there was something like 50,000 people at AIDS Walk New York last year. I like to start early and help out as long as I can.

I'm in fairly good shape, and while I've been training like a madman for this, I could always train harder. I'm not going to be in any shape to bust out a triathalon anytime soon, but I'd like to aim for that as opposed to ending up like a big fat slob. I've been going to the AIDS Walk New York office headquarters to volunteer as much time as I could lately. There were loads of envelopes to stuff, label, and mail out as well as prep work on a massive scale. They can always use more volunteers, and I was good to go. A little over a week ago, I must have blown out my right knee on the way to the office. As I was skating at the time, the adrenaline and endorphins must have masked the pain up until I was walking. Blessed Buddha it hurt. The weird thing was that it hurt walking and especially going up and down stairs, but it didn't hurt while skating.

A few days ago, I put some Phiten Titanium tape above and below my right kneecap.

That made it easier to cut down on the ibuprofen, and I have more flexibility, but it royally sucks to be immobile. Essentially Phiten products act as a heat sink regulating energy ionically. I've been wearing a Phiten necklace for years, and it allows me to train longer & harder with less pain and shortened recovery time.

It still sucks that my girlfriend and I will have to walk, but we're still going to bust our humps and volunteer as long as we can. I still have faith that Mother Nature will shine down on us.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Vegan Buckwheat Soba Noodle Salad

After getting the packaged buckwheat noodle salad sold in plastic bins at Whole Foods & Health Nuts, I thought to try my kung fu. This is more or less raw & organic.

1 8oz package of organic buckwheat soba noodles
1 1/3rd cups organic Arame seaweed
2 organic carrots
4 organic scallions
1/3rd (or so) organic purple onion
1/2 a bunch of organic parsley
1/2 cup organic TVP (textured vegetable protein)
1 1/2 tbsps organic chia seed
Organic ginger
Organic sesame oil
Seasoned rice vinegar

Crush the arame seaweed and soak in fresh cold water for about 20 min. While that's soaking, finely dice the scallions, parsley, & onion. Combine in a large bowl. Grate the carrots and toss that in as well.

The seaweed should have doubled in volume. Drain, but save the water in a separate bowl. Toss the rehydrated seaweed in the bowl of chopped veggies. Use the seaweed water to rehydrate the TVP. That should take about another 20 - 30 min. Grate some ginger into the veggies, and add the seasoned rice vinegar and sesame oil to taste. There should be very little water left over from rehydrating the TVP. Use that and a wee bit more water to rehydrate the chia seeds. Start boiling water for the noodles.

Once the water is boiling, reduce heat a wee bit and cook the noodles on medium - high for about 6 min. Drain in a fine mesh colander and wash with cold water a couple times. Add the noodles to the veggies and toss. You may need to add some more oil, vinegar, and salt to taste.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Note to Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi: Va Fa'n Culo

As far as politicians who shouldn't open their mouths too much, it's hard to beat Gov. George Bush. I categorically refuse to think of him as "President," because the motherfucker stole the Oval Office. Governor of Texas was the last legal office he held.

But even good ol' Dubya wasn't nearly as much of a jackass as Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. This aberration of a public official has a LONG history of saying and doing things in public that even a Ku Klux Klansman wouldn't say in Harlem. This guy is more of an embarrassment to Italians than all the guido motherfuckers in Long Island.

Seeing this little nugget of joy on really brightened my day. To be sure, divorce is a tragedy no matter how you look at it. When you're a 72-year old vulgar politician, and you're seen going to an 18-year old girl's birthday party, your wife isn't gonna be too happy. For a hypocritical bastard like Berlusconi, the tragedy isn't nearly enough. If it's ok for him to act like a pig and make obscene gestures behind a Spanish Foreign Minster (intimating that he was a cuckold), then it's ok for the Italian and International press to rake his his ass over the coals. Hey Prime Minister Berslusconi - Payback is a bitch, you asshole.