We've all worked for some reall dumb sumbitches, and I've had the misfortune of working for some of the absolute worst bosses in existence (You simple bitches know who you are). A friend of mine had sent me this internal memo a while ago. At the time, they worked for a really musty reference publisher that would have to be dragged into the 21st Century by its withered appendages. After reading the original memo, I would dearly like to see the simple bitch who wrote this memo suffer such a criminally pornographic death that only Salvador Dali could draw the crime scene chalk outline of his corpse.
Now, this may look innocent, but if you highlight over this whole posting, you'll see my edits. I don't give two squirts of piss about the well being of the asshole who wrote the original memo, but out of respect to my pal, I have omitted any names in order
to make sure that nothing gets back to anyone. This pains me,
because as I've said, I'd love to see the asshole who wrote this suffer the kind of fate that befits a child rapist in prison.
Subject: Kitchen Table Press
From time to time, I'll be leaving on our kitchen table a book I've found particularly interesting on the chance that someone else might also enjoy it.
Of course, this does not necessarily mean I've read the book. the state of having my head well up my ass past my grossly distended anus makes it rather difficult to read.
The first title in this series (that--unlike everything else--comes without obligations or a schedule) is W.G. Sebald's The Emigrants (New Directions), a book that I've found works its magic on the reader slowly but steadily.
As does Syphilis.
If you have titles you want to contribute, please do so. If there's a lot of interest in this, perhaps we'll dedicate a shelf in the library to OMITTED staff picks.
Yes, let's dedicate time and effort on other books instead of what we're publishing. After all, it is of utmost urgency that I add to the magnitude of my stunning levels of ignorance and insensitivity, while stroking my ego as a trendsetter.
Here's to literacy,
And here's to having you kiss my perpetually erupting boil crusted ass.
Publisher and Festering Wart on the Yam Bag of Literacy