Midtown Hot Mess o' Hair

I was walking with my girlfriend one morning to see her off to work while I went on to get groceries. We were right across the street from her office building, when I spotted this menopausal hot mess.



Drink it in, bitches.

I silently reached in my pocket for my camera, and I tried carefully so as not to draw attention by shouting "Holy FUCK! Check out that prune's mullet!" I could see my girlfriend's face tighten up as she tried desperately not to laugh. She kind of looked like when Harvey Korman tried to reign it in as he tried not to lose his shit during any random episode of "The Carol Burnett Show."

And if you think that's bad, you should have seen this taxidermy experiment from the front. Sweet Blessed Merciful Buddha, it took every ounce of restraint I had not to go get hammered off of some fortified wine.