Sunday, June 29, 2008

That Little Monkey Just Ain't Right

So I'm looking around to pick up some stuff I need, and because I'm a cheap bastard, I wanted to see what I could pad my order with to get free shipping. I'm looking around, and I came across this little item.

Sure looks cute, doesn't it?

First off, are kids so goddamned pussyfied that they have to have a "safe" version of a pinata? I guess beating the holy bejeezus out of a pinata for candy & toys isn't cool anymore. Then again, I suppose that a kid's party "off the grid" is an odd concept. God forbid kids should actually PLAY OUTSIDE.

But let's look at a line from the product description:
"Pull the correct string to get the candy (not included)."

Now look at where the strings are placed on good ol' Curious George.

What the fuck? What happens if you pull the wrong string? George shits on you? And I guess a wonderful Mexican traditional children's memory is further bastardized by not only taking a central element out (beating the Hell out of it for candy), but replacing it with some sick version of Russian Roulette that a Priest would play with young kids.

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