Respect, Simple Bitches, and The Ultimate Fighter

OK, before I go into last night's episode of "The Ultimate Fighter, Season 5," I should explain the title. When I say "Simple Bitch," in no way do I mean women. This is NOT intended to malign women at all. "Simple Bitch" refers to any whiny little cry baby who is not capable of owning up to one's own faults and genuinely trying to overcome them to become something greater than before.

For those of you that don't watch "The Ultimate Fighter," the concept behind the show is to take a group of fighters with experience in a number of different disciplines (e.g. wrestling, boxing, grappling, Muay Thai, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, etc), split them up into two teams, and have them fight individual exhibition matches from week to week. The teams are coached by veterans of the sport. The grand prize of the show is a contract with The Ultimate Fighting Championship, arguably the largest mixed martial arts organization. The show is hosted by the President of the UFC, Dana White. These contestants range from also-rans to rookies, and you'd think that they would all have a burning hunger to excel. You'd think that their eyes would be focused on the contract and woe be unto the poor bastards who get in their way.

You'd be dead wrong.

Season 5 of "The Ultimate Fighter" was created to give Lightweight fighters a chance and so the UFC could broaden appreciation for the sport. Currently attention is focused on heavier fighters ranging from Welterweight to Heavyweight. The two coaches, B.J. Penn and Jens Pulver are not only veterans, but bona fide legends. Both have had huge amounts of success as well as colorful histories with The UFC. Like recent seasons, losers in any given match stay on the show to train even if they are ineligible for the contract prize as there may be a chance that one contestant will be forced out and another will be called to come back as an alternate.

Tony DeSouza is part of B.J. Penn's coaching staff. His experience in grappling and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is rock solid, and in last night's episode, he got tired of eliminated contestant Noah Thomas' lackadaisical attitude and his joking. He not only taught Noah several object lessons in grappling, he got him in some rather punishing and obviously painful positions, forcing Noah to bitch even more.

At the beginning of Season 5, Gabe Ruediger started off 20lbs. over the 155lb. weight limit. While losing weight is part of training for any fight, the chance that he will be called in any episode put stress on him and his team. This would give him something like 1 day to lose 20lbs. before the weigh-in. If a contestant does not "make weight," they usually forfeit the match and are booted from the show. 20lbs. in one day is practically impossible, and he would have time to recover in the time after the weigh-in and before the actual fight. Unfortunately in the first five episodes, Gabe Ruediger was eating junk food like it was going out of style, not training as hard as his teammates, and he was even given special dispensation to leave the training facility to get a colonic with the hopes that it would help his weight loss. It didn't do a blessed thing, because he was a delusional, lazy bastard, and he thought he knew what was the best way to train and to lose weight. The irony of it is that he has an impressive fight record, so you'd thinkt hat the idiot would know best.

When things got to a few hours before the weigh-in, he was still massively overweight, and while he lost a couple pounds, he was forced to wear layers of clothing including a non-permeable "sauna suit." He didn't run on the treadmill, he walked. He took breaks. His coaches and his teammates were wondering waht his motivations were. This didn't work, so he had to go into a sauna with all the clothing on AND ride a stationary bike to drop a massive amount of weight. He was bitching and crying and asking for help to put him back in the sauna when he staggered out to cool down. The upshot was that he was literally within 3 pounds of making the weight limit and either he passed out or he gave up. An ambulance had to take him to a hospital for rehydration. Once he was let out, Dana White threw the book at him and kicked him off the show with no chance of coming back as an alternate. Gabe was crying rivers of tears, saying a crock of bullshit about this being his career, that he needed fighting, yadda yadda yadda.

I have no sympathy for either Noah Thomas getting the crap choked out of him in training or Gabe Ruediger coming to the startling conclusion that he is a self-absorbed moron with less of a grip on reality than President Bush. One thing that Dana White has been absolutely clear on is that no matter what the theme of a particular season of "The Ultimate Fighter," it's all about giving contestants a shot at a UFC contract instead of having to fight tooth and nail in smaller organizations and pray that they're gonna get a call from the UFC. There has been some speculation that the contestants who come out of "The Ultimate Fighter" aren't as worthy of title fights as regular fighters, but recent examples like Forrest Griffin, Kendall Grove, and especially Matt Serra with his stunning upset victory over reigning UFC Welterweight champion George St. Pierre in UFC 69.

"The Ultimate Fighter" contestants have a shot at greatness. They have been given a huge opportunity not only to learn from veterans, but to become fighters that command respect. The thing is that morons like Noah Thomas and Gabe Ruediger don't understand that in order to get respect, you have to give it back to those that know more than you. What kills me is that while these simple bitches were enjoying the limelight, scores of fighters with more promise and talent have to suffer. I'm clearly not stating that I could kick either of their asses, but if somebody told me that I could become as great as one of my heroes, I would listen to them implicitly, and I would show them nothing but unflinching respect. If this is as much a part of their lives as they claim, then they are completely delusional and I can only hope that they realize that they are wasting their time. Then again, I hope that Noah Thomas, Gabe Ruediger, and other morons like them kiss the third rail.