Monday, April 9, 2007

May Uwe Boll Suffer a Criminally Pornographic Death

If this posting seems long winded, I apologize. I have a lot to get off my chest, so bear with me.

I love video games, and I am deeply troubled not with the violence that is part and parcel of some of the most notorious ones (e.g. "Doom," "Grand Theft Auto," "Quake"). It may be callous to say that there is always going to be a group of people whose developmental problems prohibit them from discerning reality from fantasy.

In other words, morons are fucking it up for rational people.

As prevalent as video games are becoming with advances in hardware like the XBox 360 Elite, and the PS3 along with innovations with the Nintendo Wii, video games are still considered a niche market, albeit a lucrative demographic. No matter what you think of movies like "Silent Hill," the "Resident Evil" series, and "Doom," they are seen as success stories for studios eager for similar hits. Some movie projects rumored and/or confirmed to be in development are "Castlevania," "Tekken," and "Metal Gear Solid." Maybe that last one is a pipe dream, but these are all titles that have made immense amounts of money and reaped critical acclaim from gaming communties.

One of my favorite games is Sega's "House of the Dead." It's hard not to love a game in which you shoot zombies. This isn't lush storytelling or unique gameplay like the classic "Myst." This is cathartic, mindless fun. While the game iteslf had a threadbare plot, the movie adaptation was grossly removed from anything resembling the source game much less alone a storyline that wasn't insulting. "House of the Dead" was disturbingly bad, and I'd rather watch a test pattern than watch it on cable. It was at that point that I started to take notice of the director, Uwe Boll.

His career has miraculously come back after flop after flop after flop. He continues to get work as a director and not what he deserves as a bestiality porn fluffer. OK, that was mean to animals and they don't deserve Uwe Boll's lust. I can't figure out how or why this little troll continues to get work. At least it's not like he's getting choice titles to adapt (read: "rape"). He is making a concerted effort in not only adapting video game properties into crap movies, but he has some how managed to use his reputation as one of the worst filmmakers of all time paradoxically as a selling point. It's like a badge of honor for him. While I would normally ignore him in the hopes that interest in him would die out so he would be forced into retirement, I came across this little nugget from BollBashers. To say the clip spoofing the WTC attacks on 9/11/01 is offensive is an understatement, and you are forewarned.

Like the mediocre game series from which it was spawned, this year's "Postal" thrives on controversy, a threadbare plot, and the inevitable outcry from critics like Joe Lieberman and Hillary Clinton. While this clip appears to be the real deal, "official" clips are almost as disturbing. This is less of an example of artistic freedom, but of a glaring lack of sensitivity. To use a tragedy of this scale as a selling point for a movie is sickening.

I am deeply saddened and angered by the fact that Uwe Boll is ruining both video games and action movies with his latest malignant tumor, "Postal." Some are bouund to see this unfairly as a broad example of what video game based movies can be. Hopefully he will die as a reviled and hated man, and "Postal" will fade into obscurity. Am I being prejudicial of Uwe Boll? Hell Yes. Then again, based on his body of work, how else could someone think of him besides a misguided, talentless hack?

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