As recent visitors to my little corner of the blogverse have seen, I am a vegan. I love to cook, and I have a deep abiding respect and awe for nature's majestic beauty. This does not mean that I am incapable of hatred.
For as long as I have lived in Bethesda, I have had to endure a smarmy group of Washingtonian gasbag pundits known as "The McLaughlin Group," a roundtable discussion of hot button topics in the news from columnists inside the Capital Beltway. The group is led by John McLaughlin, a Jesuit who left his order to become a speech writer and advisor to US President Richard M. Nixon. He also supported the Vietnam War. There were many McLaughlin Group alums I'd love to see tortured in extremely criminal and pornographic ways. Charles Krauthammer, Carl Rowan, and Republican homunculus Pat Buchanan should all be assraped for a very long time, but Robert Novak? Whoo boy, where to begin?
I don't care if he died after brain cancer. Whoopee-fucking-doo for him. Boo hoo for his family. He was speeding in his Corvette when he ran over an 86-year old pedestrian. He tried his damnedest to get away, but a civic-minded bicyclist prevented him from getting away until the cops came. He outed Valerie Plame, a CIA deep cover operative after her husband, a US Ambassador, bitched about Bush Administration policy. His dirty tricks back in the 1972 US Presidential election cost George McGovern the election, and it gave us more Nixon, more Vietnam, and oh yeah - WATERGATE.
According to Dante Alighieri's The Divine Comedy, the lowest part of Hell, the 9th Circle is reserved for traitors to their family, their country, their guests, and to God in that order. I hope that Robert Novak enjoys eternity in the 9th Circle of Hell. He fucking well deserves it.
Showing posts with label Republican. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Republican. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Friday, October 3, 2008
Memo to Mrs. Palin: It's pronounced "NEW-KLEE-ARE"
I must be some kind of masochist, because I watched the US Vice Presidential Candidate debate last night. I didn't mind the rhetoric being slung back and forth. You have to expect a high degree of bullshit in any electoral debate. What I mind is the quality of bullshit from the Republican candidate, Gov. Sarah Palin. On virtually every question she tried her damnedest to deflect attention from her inability to respond capably and divert attention with 1979 vintage Republican hyperbole-drenched bullshit. Remember - 1979 was a very good year for Republican bullshit. She tried to appear approachable and familiar and yet brash and iconoclastic.
That load of bullshit may have worked when Reagan was about to bitch slap the Carter Administration, but it sure as Hell isn't going to work now. To prove my point, watch the debate over again, but this time under the framework of a drinking game:
1) Gov. Twinkie pronounces "Nuclear" as "Nuke-U-Lar:" 2 Drink
2) Gov. Twinkie says "looking forward" (or some variation thereof): 1 Drink
3) Gov. Twinkie says "Maverick:" 2 Drinks
4) Gov. Twinkie refers to her gubernatorial or her mayoral experience: 1 Drink
By the end of the debate, I guarantee that you will be more fucked up than any 3 blocks of the St. Patrick's Day Parade.
With all due respect to Gov. Twinkie, I say this: Bitch, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Trying to pull a Jedi Mind Trick in trying to respond to a question with a non-sequitur only works if you're a Jedi Master and not a dried up old whore. The only thing she proved was that Rednecks don't just have to come from the South. The fact that this Twinkie has a chance of being a heartbeat away from NORAD launch codes scares the shit out of me.
Allow me to end with this: In 2006, the same year Twinkie took office as Governor of Alaska, "The Amazing Mrs. Pritchard" premiered as a television series on BBC One. It would reach US audiences via PBS the following year. Jane Horrocks (arguably best known for her role as "Bubble" on "Absolutely Fabulous") played Rosamund Jane Pritchard, a supermarket manager who runs for public office and improbabaly becomes the British Prime Minister. She is saddled with a jackass husband and a daughter who is wildly out of control and a great embarassment to Mrs. Pritchard. Sound familiar? "The Amazing Mrs. Pritchard" was a brilliant series that died an ugly and undeservedly early death, but taken as a de facto miniseries, it is eerily apropos.
Gov. Twinkie, you are NO Mrs. Pritchard.
That load of bullshit may have worked when Reagan was about to bitch slap the Carter Administration, but it sure as Hell isn't going to work now. To prove my point, watch the debate over again, but this time under the framework of a drinking game:
1) Gov. Twinkie pronounces "Nuclear" as "Nuke-U-Lar:" 2 Drink
2) Gov. Twinkie says "looking forward" (or some variation thereof): 1 Drink
3) Gov. Twinkie says "Maverick:" 2 Drinks
4) Gov. Twinkie refers to her gubernatorial or her mayoral experience: 1 Drink
By the end of the debate, I guarantee that you will be more fucked up than any 3 blocks of the St. Patrick's Day Parade.
With all due respect to Gov. Twinkie, I say this: Bitch, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Trying to pull a Jedi Mind Trick in trying to respond to a question with a non-sequitur only works if you're a Jedi Master and not a dried up old whore. The only thing she proved was that Rednecks don't just have to come from the South. The fact that this Twinkie has a chance of being a heartbeat away from NORAD launch codes scares the shit out of me.
Allow me to end with this: In 2006, the same year Twinkie took office as Governor of Alaska, "The Amazing Mrs. Pritchard" premiered as a television series on BBC One. It would reach US audiences via PBS the following year. Jane Horrocks (arguably best known for her role as "Bubble" on "Absolutely Fabulous") played Rosamund Jane Pritchard, a supermarket manager who runs for public office and improbabaly becomes the British Prime Minister. She is saddled with a jackass husband and a daughter who is wildly out of control and a great embarassment to Mrs. Pritchard. Sound familiar? "The Amazing Mrs. Pritchard" was a brilliant series that died an ugly and undeservedly early death, but taken as a de facto miniseries, it is eerily apropos.
Gov. Twinkie, you are NO Mrs. Pritchard.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Pop Quiz: Is Newt Gingrich a Moron or a Racist?
This past weekend, Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich spoke to the National Federation of Republican Women, and he made statements that made me wonder if Newt can peel fruit with his feet. "The American people believe English should be the official language of the government. ... We should replace bilingual education with immersion in English so people learn the common language of the country and they learn the language of prosperity, not the language of living in a ghetto."
According to the CNN story, the "crowd of more than 100" was cheering. First off, a group of 100 isn't a crowd - that's a couple of lines at the DMV. Second, any group that is going to cheer for Newt Gingrich is probably so stupid, they wouldn't know that "Talladega Nights" isn't a documentary.
I'm not troubled so much by this little group of cackling bitches as much as what he said. Think about it. This is a great country filled with opportunity, however a jackass like Newt Gingrich is going to say if you aren't fluent in English, tough shit for you. Should anybody living and working in the United States be required to learn English? Absolutely. But how the Hell is someone supposed to learn English? Instead of bilingual educational programs. perhaps Mr. Gingrich would prefer that we beat immigrants upside their heads with dictionaries. Maybe Mr. Gingrich could offer his services and teach English through some Redneck Asshole Mind Meld.
And then there's the real problem of what he said, equating bilngual education with "the language of living in a ghetto." Does he really have that little regard for minorities that he would trivialize their existence in urban America much less alone their contribution to the vast diversity of the American fabric? Is he singling out one or two minorities he especially despises, and is he so much of a chickenshit coward that he won't say that he doesn't like dark and swarthy people? His remarks are incendiary, hateful, and ignorant.
Here's the best part - apparently Grima Wormtongue -err Newt Gingrich- is considering running for President in 2008.
I shit thee not.
Mr. Gingrich has apaprently overlooked the fact that the American people includes citizens as well as people simply working and living here. Our strength as a union comes from our diversity and how we relate to other cultures. Unless we make not just bilingual education but multicultural education mandatory, we will never be as strong as we can be.
According to the CNN story, the "crowd of more than 100" was cheering. First off, a group of 100 isn't a crowd - that's a couple of lines at the DMV. Second, any group that is going to cheer for Newt Gingrich is probably so stupid, they wouldn't know that "Talladega Nights" isn't a documentary.
I'm not troubled so much by this little group of cackling bitches as much as what he said. Think about it. This is a great country filled with opportunity, however a jackass like Newt Gingrich is going to say if you aren't fluent in English, tough shit for you. Should anybody living and working in the United States be required to learn English? Absolutely. But how the Hell is someone supposed to learn English? Instead of bilingual educational programs. perhaps Mr. Gingrich would prefer that we beat immigrants upside their heads with dictionaries. Maybe Mr. Gingrich could offer his services and teach English through some Redneck Asshole Mind Meld.
And then there's the real problem of what he said, equating bilngual education with "the language of living in a ghetto." Does he really have that little regard for minorities that he would trivialize their existence in urban America much less alone their contribution to the vast diversity of the American fabric? Is he singling out one or two minorities he especially despises, and is he so much of a chickenshit coward that he won't say that he doesn't like dark and swarthy people? His remarks are incendiary, hateful, and ignorant.
Here's the best part - apparently Grima Wormtongue -err Newt Gingrich- is considering running for President in 2008.
I shit thee not.
Mr. Gingrich has apaprently overlooked the fact that the American people includes citizens as well as people simply working and living here. Our strength as a union comes from our diversity and how we relate to other cultures. Unless we make not just bilingual education but multicultural education mandatory, we will never be as strong as we can be.
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