In Space, No One Can Hear You Gag

Lordy, I love spicy food. I love habanero peppers for the endorphin rush, the fire, the pain, and that you can actually taste the pepper. I grew up with some of the stinkiest stuff under the sun, kimchi. This isn't so much as a delicacy as some have generously said. It's more of a way for blind people to hate Koreans. kimchi usually consists of cabbage, garlic, salt, carrots, LOADS of red pepper, radishes, ginger, and sometimes some anchovies, and some other stuff I'm almost afraid to think about.

I kid. It's really quite tasty, but it stinks. Twice. Once when you eat it, and well, you get the idea. I read a wonderful little story on BBC.co.uk about Ko San, the first Korean about to go into space, and I had a whole mess o' questions. Take a look at this story and let it digest. I'll wait.

Here are my questions:

1) What if Mr. Ko has some terrestrial kimchi before launch, and he lets one rip in the space station? Would the bacteria in regular kimchi wreak havoc, or just stink?
2) While it stands to reason that any food going into space would have to be rigorously tested, is kimchi so volatile that it needs the stamp of approval from the Korean Atomic Energy Research Institute (KAERI)? Is there a risk of weapons grade plutonium being smuggled in a jar of kimchi?
3) The article goes on to quote an official KAERI statement that "Kimchi must be provided in a germ-free state," but God have mercy on your nose if someone lets off a ninja biscuit. Actually it's not a case of "if," but "when."
4) The articled mentioned organic produce as well as instant noodles (bastards HAD to throw that one in there, eh?) and cinnamon tea. What about bulgogi? I may be a vegan, but some of my fondest memories growing up were of Korean barbeque. How the Hell are they gonna set up the grill in space?

I'd love to see the state of the International Space Station after Mr. Ko leaves. More specifically I'd like to express my sympathy to whomever would use the zero-gravity toilet after him. Yeah, I'm playa-hatin. So what?

The Clown Prince is Dead

Damnit, damnit, damnit. Why does this shit happen? I thought that the story on Superherohype.com was a sick joke, but it's on CNN.com. I was not terribly familiar with Heath Ledger's work as an actor. I know he's had his time in the gossip rags, and I know he's been perceived as aloof and serious about his work, but goddamnit, why does this have to happen? Chris Nolan's brilliant direction in "Batman Begins" breathed fresh life into an all but dead franchise. It was ok for comic book geeks and respectable people to like comic books again, and who didn't get a shiver at the ending? A sequel was a sure bet. With "The Dark Knight," there was finally going to be some respect paid to one of the least understood villains in pop culture. Cesar Romero was friggin' great, and Jack Nicholson was an obvious knee-jerk choice, but The Joker was finally going to be one scary bastard thanks to Heath Ledger. I hope that the Joker will be as constant a character in the movies as he has been in comic books.

My heartfelt condolences to those that loved him, especially the daughter he leaves behind.

It's Not TV, It's Crap

One of the few reasons there is left for me to watch HBO now is "Real Time with Bill Maher." I love that show. I love Bill Maher's "Take No Shit From ANYONE" attitude. There was one episode last season in which some jackass in the audience started yammering about some 9/11 conspiracy, and Bill Maher shouted back to the jackass something to the effect of "Can I get some fucking security in here, or do I have to throw you out myself?" Bill leapt into the audience and along with security, he gave a hearty "va fangu" to the morons. This shut up even a loudmouth like Chris Matthews (who was, of course, in the wingnut seat). One of the best parts of "Real Time with Bill Maher" is his "New Rules" coda segement in which he skewers particularly egregious assholes with a short, yet stinging rule.

Right about now, "Real Time with Bill Maher" is trying to get momentum going for its new season in the midst of the Writers Guild Association strike against The Alliance of Motion Pictures and Television Producers. This has cripppled television, killed shows, and has affected the development of films from script to grossly overpriced tickets. The strike has continued since July 16th, 2007, and while the Directors Guild Association has recently tried to intervene to resolve this conflict, I strongly feel that things are gonna get worse. Bill Maher was able to get some kind of waiver to go on with his show minus the opening monologue, comedic interludes, and unfortunately, "New Rules."

In other words, "Real Time with Bill Maher" has been partially neutered. As a Bill Maher fan, it pains me to say this, but it sucks. The show still has its merits, but imagine if you've driven an Aston Martin DB-5 for years...and someone tells you that you have to ride a Big Wheel until they tell you you can have your DB-5 back. Some shows have actually bought the farm, and it's really tragic that shows like "Scrubs" won't be able to end in the way they dserve because of a bunch of greedy bastards.

Right before July 16th, 2007, there was an insane rush to get scripts approved and put into production at movie studios. They knew the shit was gonna hit the fan for a long time, and they wanted to get their biggest projects taken care of. There will still be big movies, and reality shows have flourished, because for the better part, they're unscripted. That giant sucking wound is not the usual lack of creativity in mass media culture - but the pronounced lack of even rancid shit dressed up to look respectable.

So, while there hasn't been much of anything to watch on TV recently outside of stuff we've seen endless times before and documentaries, I have one question. Why has there been no massive rush to libraries and bookstores? What does it say about us that we'd rather watch recycled old crap than read a book?

Happy New Year, Whitey

This is my buddy Whitey's lil slice of the Big Apple, the Pond at Central Park. From this map, it doesn't look all that impressive, but it's a beautiful little quantum of solace, and that's probably one of the main reasons my girlfriend and I visit this part of Central Park so much. That and to hang out with Whitey. He doesn't ask for much, and we try and bring him some nice stuff to eat.

On Dec. 30th, we went to see Whitey with bags of birdseed for him and the rest of the ducks. Something looked odd about the Pond, but I didn't pay too much mind about a duck shortage, and a strange accumulation by the water's edge all along the perimiter of the Pond. Whitey has been missing before, and it's not for me to question the ways of Whitey. He was with some Mallards, and they were grooming themselves. On Dec. 31st, we saw him and a few ducks on the other side of the Pond in a spot where we could not get to him. I don't think he heard us or knew that we were there. I know he was kinda distracted, because he usually waddles, swims, and on occasion flies right for us, because he knows well have good food for him and his buddies. Still, we didn't see one duck in the Pond. Something DEFINITELY happened, and this is how we found Whitey on New Year's Day.



Ducks are NOT supposed to look like this. There's a gland that produces an oil used to clean themselves off and to make sure their feathers are waterproof. If they can't get whatever is out of their feathers, they're gonna die. Needless to say, my girlfriend and I were worried shitless. One of the people we regularly see at Central Park told us that he noticed an oily spillage in the Pond after Christmas, and it looked like it was coming from Wollman Rink, or a vendor there. It could have been some chemical spillage or oil, but no matter what it was, this was not right by a longshot.

After calling up the Central Park Conservancy and the Cenrtal Park Rangers' office, someone was sent out to investigate. I later found out that while precious little has been done short of putting up a boom to collect whatever had been leaking into the Pond, the going theory was that it was used cooking oil. The Central Park Conservancy did their best to flush the crap out of the water. They ran a hose, and it was running solid for at least a couple days. Still, while he lookd better the first week in January, he still looked spooked by the water. He was hardly swimming, and that broke our hearts. Just last week he began to swim for a lil bit, but he was doing his damnedest to get back to his old silly self. He'd carefully tread over icy bits to come to where we were. His feathers looked remarkably better, and I knew he was on the mend. Over the past couple of days, he'd swim for a lil bit, and he came to us easier. Just this part morning, he came waddling for us whe he heard the clicking sound, and he was swimming around after he had his fill. Whitey was practically all better, and while I should feel some degree of peace of mind, I want to know who thought it was ok to dump that much oil into the Pond. Even if that asshole doesnt understand that what they did will have an impact on the environment, I'm damn sure that this was illegal, and I want to know that this asshole is going to get punished. Since there's not a whole lot we can do about that, my girlfriend and I will continue to go to see Whitey, and feed him and his buddies.

Holiday Wishes & Some of My Favorite Stuff

I thought that now would be a good time to spread a lil good cheer, and some gentle nagging to do the right thing.

Santa Claus was especially nice to me. My girlfriend got me exactly what I wanted - she adopted a rescued animal at Farm Sanctuary. Of course I want a big friggin TV, a PS3, yadda yadda yadda, but if it came down to saving an animal or playing more video games, the lil buddies come first. ALWAYS. We're the proud "parents" of Harper, a duck rescued from the foie gras industry. He's a scrappy lil bugger, and we can't wait to go up to the Sanctuary to play with him.

We did our holiday shopping in a couple of the pavillions in NYC. One pavilion at Bryant Park had a little nook of a shop called Recycled Planet Store. While it's cool to see an increasing number of companies understand that recycling is a good thing (and from their perspective a growing demographic), Recycled Planet Store stands out because the husband and wife owners were dental surgeons who gave up their practices to not only recycle stuff like newspapers & magazines, inner tubes, & plastic bottle caps, but they work with impovershed communities in Brazil. There, artistans whip out gorgeous bowls, placemats, boxes, ornaments, and other nifty stuff. I have rarely been touched by individuals who have had such a strong devotion to giving back to those who need it while creating really cool stuff AND recycling. Take a look.

The holiday shopping pavillion at Grand Central Station has a lot of nifty shops, and one thing I noticed was that some of the merchants couldn't afford (YET) to establish a physical storefront. This doesn't detract from a really cool t-shirt or in the case of Engage Green loads of cool bags & some nifty home accents all made from recycled materials. I swear one of their bags felt like suede, but it was a combination of cork and organic hemp. Very playful design, good karma, and tips to help the environment.

While I'm on the topic of recycled materials, I've noticed that a couple of top tier outdoor gear manufacturers Mountainsmith and Osprey Packs are making a variety of backpags & bags from recycled materials like PET-based fabric. Mountainsmith is expanding its recycled line in 2008 to include camera bags & a wider range of day packs & backpacks. Osprey Packs has a bag recycling program where people can send in their used bags, and Osprey will distribute them worldwide to charities that need them.

One last thing about recycling (I promise) - Just about everytime I go out in NYC, I see the detritus of modern life. There's a trash can at every corner, and every so often, there will be recycling bins as well. In spite of these conveniences of urban life, assholes are going to dump their crap all over the city, because they're ignorant bastards, they're lazy, or they just don't care. I could either slap the shit out of the scumbag who's going to leave their garbage on the street, or I could pick up a little bit myself every now and then. I still get angry, and I'm waiting for some fucker to toss their lit cigarette or cigar butt out their car so I can pick it up and fling it back at them - or better yet - IN their vehicle. Everytime I leave the apartment, I try to remember to have a plastic grocery bag in my pocket to pick up water bottles, cans, etc. Eventually they'd end up in a landfill, but why not pick the stuff up and ensure that they get recycled, or at the very least thrown out properly? This is MY city, MY state, MY country, and MY planet. I am partially responsible for making sure that it doesn't stink to high heaven, and I'm going to practice both environmentalism and civic pride and duty. It doesn't take much time to do, and the end result is an overwhelming sense of good karma.

Now on to some lil notes about some of my favorite stuff.

MMAMania.com This site used to be UFCMania.com, but the focus is still on the UFC - the largest Mixed Martial Arts organization. If you have any love of a good asswhooping, take a look. On top of stout and earnest reporting, I'm especially impressed with the intelligence of most of the commenters of this blog.

Free Rice Where the HELL was this website when I was studying for the SAT? For every English vocabulary quiz answer you get right, Free Rice donates 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program. Since the website went live in October 2007 Free Rice has donated over 11 BILLION grains of rice. The sponsors list is wide and very touching. Beef up your vocabulary, and end hunger. WOW.

DrunkCyclist You don't have to be a cyclist or a fitness enthusiast to love this blog, but it helps. Bug Jonny, the dude who runs this site, is passionate about purity in cycling and sports in general as well as finding some really bent and funny news stories. He also is Holy War dedicated to expose hypocrisy and political injustice.

2 Dinar I am a passionate American patriot, but I am nobody's stooge. There's no way in Hell I'd ever trust the current administration to tell me the truth, and I genuinely believe that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are criminally retarded, evil, and without souls. 2 Dinar is a great op-ed site that gives a clarity and a unique perspective on current events and foreign policy: from the perspective of armed forces veterans. If your bullshit meter is going off everytime you read or see a news story that involves the current tenants at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, then visit 2 Dinar.

Joe Rogan If all you know this mook from is shows like "NewsRadio" or "Fear Factor," or as the longtime color commentator for the UFC, you have to hear his comedy act. Yep, Joe is a comedian, and a damned funny one at that. He's had is run-ins with other comedians like Carlos Mencia, but his album Shiny Happy Jihad is one of the funniest things I've heard in ages. Joe is one of the few comedians I would go out of my way to see.

A Whitey Christmas

This is my buddy, Whitey. My girlfriend and I first met him in the summer at Central Park. He kinda sticks out at the Pond amidst a bunch of Mallard ducks. Some people know him as Wiggles, Quackers, or Willie, but to us, he's Whitey. Whitey is an Indian Runner Duck, and while related to Mallards, Runner Ducks are domesticated. Theoretically all the animals in Central Park are wild, but you might ask how did a Runner Duck make it to Central Park? The sad reality is that someone probably got him as a cute little chick, and he became too much to handle, and some asshole abandoned him in Central Park thinking he'd be ok with the other ducks.

Yeah, I know. It sucks, but Whitey is ok. He's got lots of buddies, and apparently he's got a couple of grown up children, so he's not doing so badly. My girlfriend and I started feeding the ducks crumbled up granola bars, and we moved to birdseed. After doing some research, we quickly learned that feeding any bird crackers, torn up bagels, pretzels, and bread is generally a bad idea, because birds cannot digest processed flour products. It leads to engorged fatty organs, heart conditions, and other debilitating ailments. Whole grains and wild bird seed mixes (non-medicated) are higher in protein and generally suitable to feed ducks. Still, be careful. Some park conservancy workers may not understand or appreciate why you'd want to feed the ducks, or worse -they may be able to fine you.

Virtually every argument for NOT feeding wild birds does not apply to Whitey. Runner Ducks cannot migrate because they generally can't fly for great distances. He is not a wild bird. He is a domesticated duck that was abandoned. He is sharp as a tack, although my girlfriend and I sometimes think he's dumber than a sack of hammers. We love him dearly. It didn't take long for him to recognize us, and he knows we'll always have treats for him. He'll waddle up to the fence or tentatively come to us directly and eat from our hands. I remember when I first started doing the research about what to feed Whitey, a nice person at The Audubon Society said that the important thing is to regularly feed the animals. You can't just feed them once or twice and then go on to something else. That would be just as bad as the bastard who abandoned Whitey when he was a little chick.

My girlfriend and I get up extra early 4 times a week to walk over to Central Park with our breakfast and a couple ziploc bags full of bird seed. We'll pick up big bags of wild bird seed regularly, and I found a hardware store in Ithaca, NY that regularly makes trips to Manhattan to take care of things like the Mounted Police, Circuses, etc. We're gonna get waterfowl pellets, food specifically made for ducks, geese, swans, etc. It's a slight pain in the ass, but Whitey may be hungry, lonely, or maybe he's just bored with the same old diet. Why wouldn't he and the other ducks like good nutritious treats? Why shouldn't they be spoiled rotten? We're never gonna give up on Whitey and his buddies. Recently they all started to come up to us and eat from our hands. I'd like to think it's because they understood that we're not gonna hurt them, and that we love them, but I know it's because they're hungry as Hell.

Still, we love them, and especially now during the Holidays when we are flooded with messages of warmth, friends, family, and good karma, how could we not want to make sure that at the very least they have more to eat?

Pray for Megan Meier

Megan Meier was the ebullient, quirky 13-year old daughter to Ron and Tina Meier from Dardenne Prairie, Missouri, a community of 7,000 close to St. Louis. According to the CNN article, she liked hanging out with her friends and liked going fishing with her dad, Ron. Still, she suffered from depression, was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, and was on medication. For the better part of September, 2006, Megan had corresponded with Josh Evans on MySpace. Josh was a teenager who had recently moved to the area from Florida. Josh was homeschooled, and they seemed to be hitting it off pretty well.

Megan even went so far as to tell her folks about an affectionate note she got from Josh. On October 15th, 2006, Megan received a message from Josh saying rather abruptly that he didn't want to be her friend anymore, and that he had heard she wasn't nice to her friends. Josh went off on a tirade saying she was a slut and that she was fat. Megan told her her mom. Her mom had apparently been monitoring her online activity and was upset about her vulgar language and behavior. Her father tried to comfort her and said that everything was going to be alright.

She was found in her bedroom 20 minutes later. Megan had hung herself, and she died the next day. Her father found a message from Josh saying that she was a bad person and the world would be better off without her. Law enforcement officials had not been able to backtrack the message, because Josh Evans never existed.

Six weeks later in a counselor's office, another mother had confessed that she created the "Josh Evans" profile on MySpace to gain Megan's confidence and learn what she was saying about her kid. The mother, her daughter, and another person all had corresponded with Megan as "Josh Evans." The mother has not been charged with any crime. I'll repeat that. The mother has not been charged with any crime.

Ron and Tina Meier have since separated and they plan to divorce. An ordinance relevant to child endangerment and internet harassment is set to come before Dardenne Prairie city officials next week. THE MOTHER HAS NOT BEEN CHARGED WITH ANY CRIME.

There's something massively fucked up when a twisted bitch wants to destroy a young girl simply to see what she's saying about her kid. More details are coming out as stated in this story in The O'Fallon Journal. There's something even more fucked up when MySpace's boilerplate position has been that users have to be at least 14 years of age to create a profile. Too bad for Megan, eh? I'm all for net neutrality, and I find it grossly questionable when media conglomerates demand the removal of content from sites like YouTube due to copyright infringement, and yet it would take the considerable bad publicity of Megan Meier's suicide to make MySpace and its corporate pimps at News Corp. understand that MySpace is ripe with abuse. Then again, I'm probably overestimating the assclowns at News Corp and MySpace.

My heart goes out to Ron and Tina Meier. I hope they get through this tragedy, and I pray they and Megan get justice.