Hello, I'm Korean and I love Donuts, but WTF?

Recently on The Travel Channel, there was a special on donuts. I was drooling like Homer Simpson. I fucking love donuts, but as I'm still trying to drop some weight, I gotta stay away from donuts.

Then there's also the added problem of some ingredients not being vegan. I'd have to check, but it's a fair assumption to make that unless specified, most confections are made with traditional necrovore-friendly sugar. That is to say sugar bleached through the charred remains of animal bones.

Yuck,

Then I saw this list of Most Unusual Dunkin Donuts from Around the World. The list starts off on a great note with Mojito and Banana Daiquiri flavor donuts, but shit goes downhill real fucking fast. I have a few questions:

1) Who would have thought that Dunkin Donuts had such a stranglehold on the world?
2) Do cops from other countries have their own favorites?
3) Did NOBODY in Dunkin Donuts R&D get the fucking memo that Koreans + donuts = fail?

To back up my last question, I present this evidence:

Yes, that's not only a Garlic Donut, but a Garlic GLAZED Donut.
But that's not the worst part.

This is.


A Kimchee-Filled Donut. Sweet Sonny Chiba, WHAT THE BLESSED FUCK?

In Space, No One Can Hear You Gag

Lordy, I love spicy food. I love habanero peppers for the endorphin rush, the fire, the pain, and that you can actually taste the pepper. I grew up with some of the stinkiest stuff under the sun, kimchi. This isn't so much as a delicacy as some have generously said. It's more of a way for blind people to hate Koreans. kimchi usually consists of cabbage, garlic, salt, carrots, LOADS of red pepper, radishes, ginger, and sometimes some anchovies, and some other stuff I'm almost afraid to think about.

I kid. It's really quite tasty, but it stinks. Twice. Once when you eat it, and well, you get the idea. I read a wonderful little story on BBC.co.uk about Ko San, the first Korean about to go into space, and I had a whole mess o' questions. Take a look at this story and let it digest. I'll wait.

Here are my questions:

1) What if Mr. Ko has some terrestrial kimchi before launch, and he lets one rip in the space station? Would the bacteria in regular kimchi wreak havoc, or just stink?
2) While it stands to reason that any food going into space would have to be rigorously tested, is kimchi so volatile that it needs the stamp of approval from the Korean Atomic Energy Research Institute (KAERI)? Is there a risk of weapons grade plutonium being smuggled in a jar of kimchi?
3) The article goes on to quote an official KAERI statement that "Kimchi must be provided in a germ-free state," but God have mercy on your nose if someone lets off a ninja biscuit. Actually it's not a case of "if," but "when."
4) The articled mentioned organic produce as well as instant noodles (bastards HAD to throw that one in there, eh?) and cinnamon tea. What about bulgogi? I may be a vegan, but some of my fondest memories growing up were of Korean barbeque. How the Hell are they gonna set up the grill in space?

I'd love to see the state of the International Space Station after Mr. Ko leaves. More specifically I'd like to express my sympathy to whomever would use the zero-gravity toilet after him. Yeah, I'm playa-hatin. So what?