Oh Great. No US Release for "Hachi: A Dog's Tale"

I first heard about Hachiko, an Akita dog, via Japanprobe.com I generally dislike Japanprobe now, because I find them to be biased, irresponsible, and a big group of pompous douchebags. Kind of like Fox News.

Hachiko was owned by Hidesaburo Ueno, an agricultural professor at the University of Tokyo in the 1920s. Hachiko would see his buddy off at the front porch, and every day, Hachiko would be waiting at nearby Shibuya Station for the good professor. Hachiko knew which train his buddy would be on and when to wait for him.

Unfortunately one day in May, 1925, Professor Ueno died of a massive stroke in the middle of class. Nobody told Hachiko.

People that saw Hachiko and the good professor at Shibuya Station would bring Hachiko food while he waited.

FOR TEN YEARS.

Hachiko died waiting for Professor Ueno.

In 1987, Hachiko's story was made into a movie called "Hachiko Monogatari." If this sounds familiar to my fellow geeks, it should. Hachiko's story was the inspiration for the "Jurassic Bark" episode of Matt Groening's science ficiton cartoon series "Futurama."

On August 8th, 2009, "Hachiko: A Dog's Story" was released in Japan. It was directed by Lasse Hallstrom and starred Richard Gere, Joan Allen, and Jason Alexander.



In addition to directing virtually every ABBA music video, Mr. Hallstrom directed critically acclaimed films like "My Life As A Dog," "What's Eating Gilbert Grape," "The Cider House Rules," and "Chocolat."

You'd think that with that sort of cast and director, and that the story was Americanized and shot in Rhode Island, that a US theatrical release would be a no-brainer. Film geeks would go on to presume that because this is a tearjearker with great talent behind it, that it would be a Winter release and thus a sure bet for Golden Globe and Oscar nomination.

You'd be DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

Apparently some group of retarded assclowns calling themselves Consolidated Pictures Group had secured the rights to distribute this in the US. Unfortunately, they claimed they didn't have the time or money to properly publicize this movie, and they sold the distribution rights to Sony. The upshot of this is that while it has seen theatrical release in virtually every other fucking corner of the world, the closest the US is gonna get is waiting until January, schlepping out to a Wal-Mart, and picking up the DVD. Anybody who doesn't want to go to Wal-Mart will have to wait a bit longer than that.

No, I'm not kidding.

I was seriously looking forward to seeing this in the theater. I was looking forward to this more than seeing "Avatar," motherfuckers. So now I have to wait until after Wal-Mart's exclusivity retail deal on this ends before I can find it on Amazon.

DMX Is A Punk Ass Bitch

I have been a fan of Rap and Hip Hop for a very long time. I’m old enough to remember when the most scandalous thing was Doug E. Fresh & Slick Rick’s “La Di Da Di,“ and when Run-DMC was considered “new school.” I used to have Earl Simmons’ (DMX) albums in heavy rotation on my iPod.

I had been thrilled to see that DMX’s strong performance in Romeo Must Die blossomed into stronger roles in Cradle 2 The Grave and Exit Wounds. I had never thought too much of his many brushes with the law, but I was nauseated by the news that the corpses of dogs were found on his property in Arizona, as well as a small cache of weapons, drug paraphernalia, and assorted cars to which the licenses and registrations did not match. Here's the story from DListed.  After researching DMX, I was further disgusted to learn that in 2002, he pled guilty to charges stemming from a 1998 raid on his property in New Jersey involving the neglect of 13 pit bulls.

And this is a guy who allegedly loves his dogs? I have to live knowing that I supported DMX, his way of life, his flagrant disregard for the law, and his abuse of animals. That stops NOW. I went through my CD collection and shattered my DMX CDs and tore up the booklets.

I want to do whatever I can to make DMX pay for his crimes, and I want him to suffer the only thing he has shown he is capable of understanding: an abrupt and unilateral boycott of anything even tangentially related to DMX. This will achieve two goals: 1) Through a drop in revenue, he will be forced to understand the heinous nature of his crimes. 2) Anybody thinking of financing or distributing movies with DMX as part of the cast will see him for the liability he really is. He will be seen as a negative publicity magnet and as a pariah no film wants or needs. This may not be fair to people who work with him and who may be sympathetic to animal rights, but DMX needs to be made into an object lesson of what happens to you when you abuse animals repeatedly and don’t learn a blessed thing.

If I am guilty of supporting DMX and his habitual abuse of animals, anybody who works with him is equally guilty. Stop him NOW. Write PETA.  Write The Humane Society.  Write The ASPCA.  Create such a storm of outrage that his label and anybody employing him knows that he is a malignant little bitch and needs to be stopped.